Terrible experience...

At 7.30 in the morning I got up exhausted. I was brushing my teeth; saw a blurred image as reflection. Feeling giddy, I sat down. My mother-in-law gave me a glass of juice. After drinking that, I felt a lot better. Clock ticked 8. I was getting late. I hurried to the bathroom. My bad luck, I was constipating. I didn’t know that constipation is dangerous during pregnancy. All of a sudden I was shocked to notice that I was bleeding. I shouted for help. I opened the door and sat on the bathroom floor speechless. Seeing what had happed, my mother-in-law dropped the utensils in her hand, and started crying. Seeing her cry, I got more terrified.

She took me to the nearby clinic. Dr.Shanta kumari is a retired gynecologist from KGH. We stood there near her door steps, waiting for her to open the door. She called me inside. She asked me what the problem is?. I gave her my reports. She was looking at it. I said,” I am bleeding”. She gave me a puzzled look. I said, “may be because I was constipating”. She asked me if I had piles. I didn’t know. She wanted to check my blood pressure. She was trying to hold my hand; I fell unconscious on the examination table. She got me sugar water to drink. I was feeling little better after that. I was waiting for her to say something. Then she said that blood pressure is low. She asked me to lie down on the examination bed. I was feeling scared looking her wear the gloves. I didn’t know what kind of test she was going to perform. Quickly she inserted a finger and removed it. She said,” I don’t like to examine this way, as it would disturb the baby”. The gloves were stained in blood. She finally said, she can’t tell anything till a scan is taken. She asked me to visit the hospital in the city. She asked me not move much and she said if I bleed more, then I have to take few tablets to recover from abortion. The word hurt me. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t as my mother-in-law was already crying. (need to emotionally support her na).

I came back home. I wanted to call my husband and cry. But my mother-in-law asked me not to inform anybody. it was ridiculous. i was powerless to switch my thoughts to something else. I badly needed a company. I longed to talk to someone. I felt abandoned after a long time. Meanwhile my neighbors’ gathered looking at my mother-in-law cry. I felt like a patient sitting on bed, others coming to see me. One of the neighbors’ suggested me to take a call taxi and go to the city hospital. I ate curd rice, took folic acid tablet. (as it helps the growth of the baby).

After sometime the cab driver came. I asked my neighbors to accompany me. Meanwhile my mother in-law packed a bag with two set of cloths, bed sheet, my brush, paste etc .looking at the bag I got petrified. It was kind of confirmation that I am going to get admitted in hospital for an abortion.

We sat in car. And we asked the driver to take us slowly. We reached the hospital. I had to climb three stairs. Due to tension I couldn’t walk. My legs were trembling. I Was lucky to see the doctor immediately as I went in as emergency case. Doctor asked me why was I here so soon, as I visited her only last week. In a fable voice I said, I was bleeding. She asked me to recline down on examination bed. She took various scary equipments for the test. She put a screen across my hip. I couldn’t see what she was doing. But realized vaginal tests are really painful. After the examination she gave me a sympathetic look. She asked me to get a scan done immediately. I went to the scan room. I was in a hurry to know the results. But they were not allowing me until I filled al the forms and drank water till my bladder was full. It was difficult to even walk after the examination.

In the scan room: I went inside. The doctor gave me a suspicious look. He wanted to confirm if was married or not. I was praying god for first time. Doctor looked at the monitor and my face. I was trying to interpret what would be the results . but he gave a neutral expression. Then seeing me getting worried, he switched on the speaker. He asked me if I am able to hear anything. I didn’t understand anything. He asked me loudly, if I am able to hear anything. I just nodded my head. He said, that is ur baby’s heart beat. I couldn’t stop crying. I felt like a mother for first time. I could feel my heart beating faster. I wanted to smile, cry, hug someone.

I went to the doctor with reports. Doctor said," thank God, baby is safe".Doctor advised me not to jump or dance ;). She asked me to be careful henceforth and eat properly. She advised me to take bed rest for next few days. So I was feeling bored. Hence wrote this terrible experience. ;).

Still I wonder what happened? Why it happened. End of all that, I feel bonded to my child. Every time, I feel my stomach(which is being prominently seen now a days ;)), there is special feeling which I never felt in my life earlier.